Well I thought I do a quick blog on how I deal with my depression and what keeps me going. Well the thing is its very simple and thats my photography ever since I was a child I had a camera in my hand like for this instance when I was only 2 y.o. my parents got me a toy SLR camera that had a flash on it which worked I have a photo of me somewhere on christmas day with the camera in my hand. Then when I was 4 y.o. my parents got me another camera that could actually take photos and I still have some of those photos to this very day, one photo I took down in cornwall in England of a house and weirdly enough theres a BMW sitting in the drive and now I have one… my inner me must have had a good eye back then haha.
Now fast forward to when I’m 26 y.o. and I’ve still got a camera in hand I actually use it as a way of coping and I don’t think I realised it before as I’ve always considered it as a hobby that also has become as a way of making some pocket money… When I’m out with my camera in hand I’m focusing on only what I have to do and planning what to do next all my worries and stresses I had before are out the door.
I have often thought about giving up with it but its such a challenging thing to do and thats what I love is the challenge as theres no way of learning it all in a life time as theres always something new to learn… I like to learn when I’m out shooting rather than studying how to operate a camera to get this certain look.
My time when I really want to get away from it all is when I have a go at landscapes I might not be any good at it like everyone else but it gets me alone with my camera, be it going down to the beach or going inland at night to photograph the stars it really relaxes me… without having a camera there I’m always unsettled and worrying about things its weird what the camera can do for me.
I guess you can say that a camera is my drug and no I’m not coming up with a song to compete with Ke$ha… lol
Remember this song.
I have never been put on any medication or been in rooms to talk to others who have it as I’ve always kept things to myself but doing theses blogs are really helping me out as well as talking to others. I do have times when I can get involved a lot with things but its all down to the fact I want to help even when someone might not be asking its just in my nature.
The other thing I use to cope is music now this can be anything in the charts right down to some jazz all depends on what I’m feeling like… I either lock myself away or sit behind a computer with it coming though one of my speakers or I put the ear phones in… I do this up at the track when I’m shooting as I find it helps me isolate myself from whats going on and just focus on the cars and bikes.
This is one song I really like to listen to in the dark by Kenny G
Well once again my short blog has grown into a bit of a long one… all well at least you’ll understand a little bit more about me 🙂
The photo at the top for the feature photo is one of mine I took that one in London in my aunties place in her garden I was laying on my belly on the wet grass using my main camera kit.
Have a wonderful week everyone one!
Also if you are wondering what my work is like feel free to check it out here.